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1999 Mayo Family Winery Zinfandel

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Red wines, Reviews, Wine Reviews, Zinfandel, region, style | Leave a Comment

Holy motherfucking shit! I wondered when I might find the A-list wine. Turns out I just had to spend more money! Russ leaves town, and it is a time to be wistful, but also a time to celebrate! This tastes like cranberry sauce, raspberry jam, and the Sunday mornings at Grandma’s house I never had all rolled into something that will get me drunk. What’s not to love? Bon voyage, Russ. Until we meet again….

Russ says: The last time I sat at this table (editor’s note: my friend Ben’s house in West Austin) drinking expensive wine, it was a $50 Napa Pinot Noir. That bottle was Magic Johnson; this one is James Worthy. Wholly necessary to the experience, but a role player who knows he’s the key to the goddamned system. I love it! Spend the money for special occasions and drink with a smile on your face. A, and a fucking solid A.

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2000 Lynmar Quail Curve Russian River Valley Pinot Noir

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Pinot Noir, Red wines, Reviews, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

Man, I’m starting to dig Pinot Noirs, and this one is *funky*. Caramel, chocolate, and sugar plums, all dancing around in a thick, smoky, brown sugar sort of a wine, but without being a hangovery, uber-sweet piece of crap.

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Destino Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

Ah, Chardonnay. Why have I treated thee so cruelly? Relegated to back-shelf status, while your burgundy cousins shoulder and strut their way to my haughty palette, you are a picture of grace. You bent, dear Chardonnay, but you did not break. And now, it is I who am shamed. For this Chardonnay is wonderful.

It reminds me of everything I used to like about you. Long-lasting, complex finish with aromas of banana and honeysuckle. Peach originally, blending into a floral honey taste that lasts longer than most orgasms. A little bitter at the end, but what isn’t. All in all, a great bet, and a good buy even for $20. Use it during movie night, but only if that movie is Oscar-worthy! Brandy says, “Like a melon with a little bit of cayenne pepper. Like how Mexicans eat fruit.”

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2000 La Crema Pinot Noir

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Pinot Noir, Red wines, Reviews, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

This…wine…fucking…RULES! Fruity, creamy, incredible. The only thing hurting this wine are the joyful tears I openly wept into the glass upon my first sip. Brandy says, “My brother cut his finger off today.”

Upon reflection, and much later, I thought, “Whoa, his finger?!”

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2003 Avila Pinot Noir

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Pinot Noir, Red wines, Reviews, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

I had to downgrade a previous wine to which I had given a 92, because this one is better and 2 bucks cheapter! It’s fucking incredible! If this wine were an eighty-year-old man, with saggy, gray testicles changing in the YMCA locker room, I would kneel down and give this wine the blowjob of its life. That’s how good it is. Fuck!

p.s. Motherfucker!

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