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Chardonnay

2002 Wente Riva Ranch Reserve Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, style | Leave a Comment

I became single this weekend, my friends. It wasn’t easy, but she was just too clingy. No time for wine reviews. So, I hope you appreciate the sacrifice, dear readers, because I probably won’t be having sex for a while. To the wine…

I went with a great Chardonnay. Very toasty, with hints of oak & hazelnut. It lingers in the back pallette, with a dabble of apple. Good times….I’d prefer to be having sex, of course, but I’ll settle for an exceptional wine.

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2002 Valley of the Moon Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, style | Leave a Comment

Ah, thank God. Now this is a Chardonnay I can dip my balls in! Buttery taste that lasts without being overpowering or too biting. Not very fruity, but if you dig caramel, vanilla, or butter in your chardonnay, this is a good bet. If you’re trying to show some chick why Chardonnay is superior to Pinot Grigot or some other such fluff, cart this baby out of the cellar. Valley of the moon, indeed!

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2002 Toasted Head Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

This tastes a lot like the Founder’s Estate bottle. Maybe not as full, but I like it. I am tempted to say it gets better as it breathes. Buttery, caramel undertones. Long-lasting finish. I would buy this wine again.

Brandy says, “I’m going to Norm’s to do my taxes.”

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2003 Rawson’s Retreat Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, style | Leave a Comment

Price: 8.00

Ah, this is the life. The wine’s not bad, and its a Friday. We’ve got the ultimate faux spread. These weird gromatoes, smoked ghouda, kettle korn, and some weird synthetic lobster. Anyways…the wine…a nice fruity taste, lots of flavor; wine is better with cheese. I’m running out of adjectives for Chardonnay. Its time for either an increase in quality or a new style.

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Mirassou Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under Chardonnay, Reviews, Uncategorized, White wines, Wine Reviews, style | Leave a Comment

I dug this wine. Fruity, good finish, especially for eight bucks. It got me drunk and happy!

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2001 Llano Texas Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under Chardonnay, Reviews, Texas wines, White wines, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

I finally relented and tried a Texas Chardonnay, cause I have pride and stuff. And its good! First wine that I really taste apple. Green apple. Like a jolly rancher. Nice springtime wine. Brandy likes it more than I do.

Brandy says, “Its nice to know that you’re obsessed with women’s body types now.” Caramel and apple undertones. Unique, much like the Lone Star State itself.

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2002 Kendall Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

With Michael Jackson’s child molestation charges making headlines, its nice to see one of the Jackson clan doing something worthwhile. Kendall, who originally played trombone for the group, has transcended his musical beginnings to become quite a well-established wine-maker.

The vitner’s reserve manages to be full, fruity, but not sickeningly sweet. A nice wine for the money. It settles in the back of the thoat, to create a nice buttery finish. Maybe a little tangy, but a nice wine, nonetheless. Now if only Tito could work on that vodka…

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2001 Guy Buffet Cellars Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, Wine Reviews | Leave a Comment

Can wine truly be refreshing, lemony, and citrusy? Can one ever truly be honest and compassionate? Why do fat girls enjoy oral sex so much more than skinny ones? This wine attempts to answer one of these questions…

A spring bouquet of vibrant fruit. Its buttery, lemony, and oaky. How does it do it? This is a good mid-grade summer wine. As it breathes, the butter takes over. Solid wine. Look out, Napa; Paso Robles is on the map!

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2001 Diamond Oaks Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

HEB’s doing this new thing where they feature “closeout” specials, like its a shitty video game or something. I picked this wine up for $14 down from $18. Let’s see if there’s a method to this closeout madness….

A little sour at first, but fades to oak…nice, toasty finish. I feel like one of the ruling class. Who would have thought that I, Justin Strackany, would one day be drinking $18 bottles of wine. Hail to plutocracy! Still, I cannot forget the little people, and my final grade must be as humble as my roots.

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Destino Chardonnay

Posted on September 13, 2009 - Filed Under American wines, Chardonnay, Reviews, White wines, Wine Reviews, region, style | Leave a Comment

Ah, Chardonnay. Why have I treated thee so cruelly? Relegated to back-shelf status, while your burgundy cousins shoulder and strut their way to my haughty palette, you are a picture of grace. You bent, dear Chardonnay, but you did not break. And now, it is I who am shamed. For this Chardonnay is wonderful.

It reminds me of everything I used to like about you. Long-lasting, complex finish with aromas of banana and honeysuckle. Peach originally, blending into a floral honey taste that lasts longer than most orgasms. A little bitter at the end, but what isn’t. All in all, a great bet, and a good buy even for $20. Use it during movie night, but only if that movie is Oscar-worthy! Brandy says, “Like a melon with a little bit of cayenne pepper. Like how Mexicans eat fruit.”

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